First off, you need to know one thing, that will stand true through all of your matches in this game, if you make someone mad,


So, on with the guide.

..Oh, and almost none of these work against people old enough to be competent and understand the game's logic. 

How to carry: ultimate guide to manipulation.Edit

Post-pre-note.  The aim of this guide is to not teach you the very simple mechanics of this game and how to manipulate them, but how to manipulate your actions to force other people to do certain things. (i.e, camping someone's plants with artillery early game causes them to counter you in one of a few ways, the most common being: "omg u nob st0p !t", which then results in them rushing you like a brain-dead zombie.)

Everyone in this game has a brain, (save some not-so-rare occasions..), that is always functioning and milling about. But, since the average player is around, say, 10-13ish, a lot of the players act the same way to certain actions.

Step one to manipulation: cheating the system.
  • Key strategy throughout: your ally stays silent, and if anyone asks, you two are both going for the "MLG PRO!" badge.

Primary ways to "cheat the system":

  • Does a unit have a stupidly easy to exploit weakness? Exploit it. (fun fact: the scout outranges everyone's default light tank and does 4 dps, so 63 hits later, you have a dead tank!)
  • Did a person build a nuclear plant slightly too far from their cc? Destroy it. (fun fact: scouts have a good range) 
  • Does one person have plants next to everyone elses? Play the frame game. (fun fact: especially convincing if you blow up your plants after their units pass by, but more on that later)

Other ways, only available if people use that "chat" thing. 

  • Make them laugh- (fun fact: googling fantastic puns works really well.)
  • Form really false alliances- (fun fact: "peace till 60" never works out)
  • Take the side of anyone and everyone who declares war on someone first... then stab him in the back.

(Sorry, feminazis. But it's grammatically correct!)

The goal of step one is to get people to trust what you have to say... or just make them angry so they don't notice some well placed infantry from your ally. 

This step should take about ten minutes, more if you're the sneaky bugger who plays the frame game like it was a game of clue.

Step two: Playing your hand

So, now you should have some pretty epic framing set up, some guy about to get back stabbed, or your ally prepping with an army while you get ready to get everyone mad at you, or, to turn on each other. 

If all four enemies are left, you want to turn them on each-other first, then back stab the survivors while they're weak.  

If only three players remain, convince "team A" to eliminate the last half of "team B" (A team being 2 allied players..), then stab them in the back by going for a base kill or an economy wreck. 

If two players remain, well, the hell did you manage that? 

But, drag their attention to you immediately. Destroy their plants wherever possible, troll them in chat, but do EVERYTHING possible to drag the attention off your ally and on to you. If your ally is good, they should make and army and then you should ask them to donate to you (optional donations, they really just need an army.) If you got donates or had tons of money before, build defenses to hold them off, or an army to counter-attack while "team A" is distracted by your base. But, a big no-no is you and your ally splitting up to attack multiple places at the same time- however, you and your ally need to prioritize a target and minimize losses/pointless damage through staying at max range if it at all benefits you. The CC of the person who has built little to none of the unit producing facilities should be your first target, then the unit producing facilities, then the units. 

 ..I'm really tired, most of that probably didn't fit into anything I said earlier, and you know what?!  

I'll fix it in the morning.  

-A procrastinator.